Posted by Anonymous on 2013/07/15 under Uncategorized I am so competitive. I make life into a huge game with a trophy at the end that I don’t want, but need to obtain. I have a strong addiction to being better than others, and I don’t know where it steamed from. I have tried to suppress it but it has always been inside me since I was younger, and now as an adult its even more present. In work, in relationships, in anything I do, I need to be the best. The only thing I can say I like about that certain trait is I don’t put others down to make myself rise. I actually try to do my best, in cooking, cleaning, loving, work, any little thing I just better myself instead of putting others down. The down side is when I don’t win whatever game I created, I feel so incredibly disappointed and just depressed I can’t stand to look at myself. If I didn’t outshine others, I pick at any flaws, or create them to try to fix them in me. I’m aware that I do all of this, and yet I have’t been able to fix it. Thankfully, I haven’t created a game in my head called “fix yourself” or I would be losing that and I don’t think I could recover. I just wish sometimes I wouldn’t act this way but I can’t control it.